Yay for Bachelorette parties!

Went to my 1st bachelorette party ever on saturday. All I've got to say is people need to get married more often so I can go to these things. I had sooo much fun!

Firstly, it was my best friends Sister, Liz, who's getting married. I've never seen so much lingerie in my life! We started the evening off with some pictionary like game for the bride to be. My group totally won, probably because Kelsey and Talisa started guessing before they started drawing, plus most of them started out with a stick figure so it wasn't too complicated to just shout out everything that had to do with the wedding party!

Our second game was a little more fun......

We played some "Dick Ring Hoopla"(ring toss) for a while before she opened her gifts.



I do believe my gift was the best.....





















PENIS WATERBOTTLE!!!!

After the gifts, we played the best game of the night. It's a photo scavenger hunt where you drive around to take pictures of whatever was on the list. Kristina and I already knew what was on the list, as we were the ones that made it...yeah...we lost! But here's some pictures of the night!

Take a picture of everyone in the team making a funny face:













Take a picture of someone in the group humping an inanimate object in public:


















Take a picture of someone in the group with a random person: (Brian from Fred Meyer, who wanted to look at our list to make sure it wasn't "random ugly person")

Member of the group with underwear over their clothes (Talisa is good at this kinda stuff....)

















And my personal favorite.....

Every member in the group in a piggy back:
(originally it was only 3 person groups, and we figured that we would just stick with 3 people in the piggy back....Kristina and I should be curb stomped for adding this to the list....)


1st try...










2nd try... (I totally have a bruise on my knee from this one!)

















SUCCESS!!! (sorta...)

















ALL THE GALS!!!!!

Need to step it up, bring my A game....

So...trying to remember everything that has gone on since my last blog. Bear with me here! I'm trying!!!

Most recently we went to the coast, last weekend, to celebrate 3 people's birthdays; Dave's Dad, Remmy and Triston. Over all it was fun, I guess. We didn't really do much outside of eating at some pretty expensive restaurants and watch Josh tangle the f*$% out of his 200 dollar kite.
I think the most excitement we had was going to the Spice Video adult novelty store with Ash and Josh...oh, and Dave's parents! How could I forget!
Not only was it super awkward for Ash and Dave to be bumping elbows with their parents in the toy eisle, it was SUPER amusing for me, and I think Josh might agree.

Here are some excerpts from our little adventure

::ash picks up edible underwear::
Ash: Hey David, look at these!
::dave turns around, edible underwear already in hand with crooked grin::

******************************************************************
Ash: So, how do you know which one of these are better than the other?
Aja: I don't know, they all have the same idea...Holy shit, you can plug that one into your ipod!
::ash laughs::
Ash: ya, I don't need one that high tech.

******************************************************************

::ash and aja standing in aisle viewing the selection of..ahem..toys...::
Creepy salesman: If you girls want to bring some of them up, I"ll put batteries in them and show you what they can do.
::nervous sideways glance to eachother::
Aja: Naaaah....I think we're good thanks.

******************************************************************


I will try to blog more often! I promise!!

Dude, this post needs a title!

So what, it's been a month. And frankly I've had nothing to say.
Next month I have a week off. I have no clue what I am going to do! I've thrown around some ideas but none of them really seem like they will happen, if I'm by myself anyway. On the other hand, David might get that week off too, then the possibilities are endless....sorta.

My ideal vacation as of right now would have been Disneyland but long story short, that is not happening for a while.
San Fransisco would be amazing. Dave has never been there and I was only there for about a day and didn't really get to explore the best parts. I want to take Dave over to Alcatraz and to pier 39. I want to go in the wax museum and to china town. I want to take pictures on the Golden Gate bridge and walk in Golden Gate park. There's so much to do there it seems like we'd have plenty to keep even Dave occupied. Plus I have a cousin that lives there that I haven't seen in a few, that I would love to visit.
On a more boring note, we could just take a visit to the Oregon coast, and go to a spot we've never seen.....wait a minute...that's right, we've been pretty much everywhere, north and south.
We also have this project we want to start. We'll call it, "Project Rip-Out-Wall". This involves removing the wall between two rooms and making one. I know, this will take forever with us doing it but I WANT A BIGGER BEDROOM!!!! Well will essentially have to put in new carpet, take all the molding off the bottom of the walls, board up and drywall one of the doors and repaint BOTH of the rooms. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy! ...... yeah right

UPDATE: Got together with Ron. Roof will collapse if we remove wall without professional modifications. Going to cost around 1000. Don't know when this will be done. If ever.

BUT HEY!!!!
I got my new phone yesterday!!! It's the wannabe iphone, the samsung Instinct. I really find it easier to use that my other phone with was the worst phone I've ever had. Never get a Rant. yuck.
This has a full touch screen with a butt load of applications and a huge browser, unlike the red turd I used to own (at least I got 80 bucks out of the thing!)
So I know no one cares about my phone or the fact that I am having a terrible time chosing a vacations spot, I just figure I haven't posted in a while and this was all I came up with.


Don't like it? Damn, that sucks.....

My BLAH BLOG

OK. So today has been a pretty good day, except the excruciating pain I've had in my stomach and "other regions" ever since this morning, the stupidity of many(ok, all) of the members I have to deal with, the lack of sleep from last night's dog poop fiasco, and the overall fact that I had to work today! Oops, did I say it was a good day. Hot Dog! I must have had been hit in the head with telephone pole before I wrote this. And it's also hard to go to the gym when you really don't want to, although you know you should. I'm sure no one else has had that feeling......


VALENTINES DAY!!! Not gonna be too exciting. And I like it that way. In order to save every last buck to go to Disneyland I told Dave I didn't want anything, just to spend the day together and maybe go out to dinner or something rather inexpensive. I know you are thinking, She must have been brainwashed or hit over the head by a telephone pole because no girl in her right mind would say that! Well my friend, I said it. Oh yes, I did.

Ingenious title not included at this time.

So I've developed this habit of weighing myself like everyday. I know I'm not supposed to but I got this really cool, get this, DIGITAL scale for christmas(I've never had one before, stop laughing!). I have noticed that I am slowly, let me say it again, sssslllllloooooooowwwwwllllyyyyy losing weight. Maybe they have gotten my thyroid right? maybe the stuff I am eating is actually healthy for me? I know it's not from working out because that has come to a screeching hault at the moment. I'd go to spin class if there weren't 5000 people signed up before me!!! But I bought a victoria's secret bathing suit that I intend to fit in to in about 3 to 4 months so I guess I better get my ass in gear!!

One Hellish Day..........

So this didn't happen today, it was on the 1st of this month but I didn't post it on here so I thought I would share. I wanted everyone to know how I felt...not so good for starters....

So about...eh..3:30 or 4:00 I woke up, sat up and let out pretty much the nastiest burp in the world. For the next hour I proceeded to burp, toss and turn, eat some tums, burp some more and probably annoy Dave to the point where he might kill me...(sorry babe.) I then got in the shower on the verge of tears arguing with myself whether or not to call Linda. I got fully dressed, sat on the edge of the bed and finally decided to call Linda. Being the wonderful woman she is she told me she'd open for me. I barely got off the phone before the explosive crying started for about 10 minutes..I know, I'm a wimp. At this point I was exhausted from the lack of sleep and feeling this way for the past 2 days, I laid down and decided to go to Basin immediate care when it opened at 8. My cat obviously didn't understand how I felt because he thought that rubbing his foul smelling drool all over my face was a great sign of affection. So finally, it is 8 o'clock and I drag myself out of bed, throw on a sweatshirt and my boots and make my way out the door. Ok, my car is a giant block of ice, it's going to be a while. While waiting for my car to start, I'm standing outside and all of a sudden, became one with the bush and well, I'm sure you can guess what covered it. Managed to make it to basin without any more violent vometing but that was the least of my worries because I got there, sat in the room for like an hour before the doctor told me everything looked fine and I need the o-so-loved blood work. The nurse must have known how fabulous I felt because she had to "try" to get blood out of both my arms before finally succeeding. I listened to the "you just have a viral stomach bug. drinks lots of water yada yada yada. Have a great day!!!" According to Basin, my insurance has a copay which I was unaware of because nowhere else charges it. Go figure because my debit card is somewhere in the shred box while I wait for a new one and even if I did have one, I only have like 11 dollars in it. Ok, so lets call Dave....ring ring ring....no answers...about 10 minutes later I give the woman a credit card number and I am on my way home, to a house that has no food, the water tastes like bleach, and is dirtier than hell.... I dare you to top my day...please, listening to your story would delight me so...

30 with a junior high school mentality. (more like 25 I guess)

So...seriously. Who follows their girlfriend's ex-boyfriends girlfriend?(got all that?) So I'm at Freddie's trying to find a parking spot among the millions of cars parked there. While driving by the front door, I see this lifted ford diesel and the dude driving it is staring at me. OK, this guy thinks I'm hot, mini ego boost! So I don't think anything of it until I'm parked and the damn truck is stopped behind me. What the hell. So I take my time, thinking the guy is just readjusting his seat or something. But then realize that he is definitely waiting for me. I get out and the guy yells, "Hey, are you Dave's girlfriend?" A little confused I say, "Yeah?" He then says, "Will you give Dave a message for me? Tell him to stop calling my girlfriend." Instant irritation. Even though I know exactly who his whore of a girlfriend is I ask, "and who's your girlfriend?" Angie, yeah, I totally knew that dumb ass....So a little sarcastic I say, "Hmm, actually Dave doesn't call Angie, Angie calls him." After he looks at me and said "Bullshit", increasing my blood flow. I scream "fuck you" and before I can hold it down my middle finger flies up and I continue to walk into Freddie's. How dare he!!! That douche bag FOLLOWED me to Fred Meyer! How does he know what I drive and who I am?! Does he not have the balls to contront Dave himself?? Of course any guy that wants their girlfriend to completely give up her kids for him probably doesn't have all of this brain or heart in tact. But back on topic, I storm into Freddie's barely able to dial Dave's number I am shaking so bad with anger. When he answers I screams "Hey!" scaring the bejesus out of two guys walking in front of me. After shyly apologizing to them, I begin talking to Dave, actually it was more like loud, inaudible spurts of cuss words and a few other words in between. While walking down the isle, still cussing like a sailor, I run into a member of the credit union I work at. Being a master of transformation, I immediately put on a completely forced and fake smile and waved hello. Of course that all disintegrated after he was out of earshot. I was so pissed I completely forgot that I was looking for a snow shovel and began pacing around the shoe section. It all turned out to be a misunderstanding after I made Dave call Angie's friend Rachel to figure out WTF. Jesus!

Oh, by the way. Mike, if you are reading this, you have got to be the most pathetic excuse for a man. Seriously, you couldn't have confronted Dave about it? God knows Angie has his number.......PANSY!!!

You spin me right round baby right round.....

So, I made it thru my second spinning class and was suprised at how well I did the second time. The first time was a joke. I was just mostly pedeling to myself while everyone was doing these crazy reps and moves that I just didn't have it in me to do. The instructer even came back twice to see if I was ok, and to tell me that it was alright to move at my own speed...blah blah blah. But yesterday, I managed to keep up with them the whole time with the exception of about a one minute break I needed to ensure I didn't pass out and to restart the blood circulation in my toes. . So I plan on going to these classes Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and see if that and going on a diet will help me shed a few pounds. I only hope. That desire is the only thing that kept me going yesterday....YAY ME!!!

The Kat Klepto

Ok, so I just got my cat back from the freaking "humane" society after our crazy neighbor, fittingly named the Kat Klepto keeps taking my cats there. After recovering him, I promptly called the police and filed a theft complaint and wrote this letter to the editor of our local newspaper. Enjoy...


Firstly, this is not solely directed towards the Humane Society, but more at an individual that works there. Over the past couple months, I have had to take time out of my busy schedule, usually on my lunch break, to go and regain the ownership of my cats. Our neighbor, who will remain nameless, works at the shelter. She thinks it is her duty to try and catch every cat in the neighborhood and assume it is a feral or diseased cat. I understand her motives but this is unacceptable. The first time one of my cats came up missing I was unhappy for weeks, thinking she had been run over or had taken off. Only then did another neighbor alert me of this woman's ridiculous habit. Upon picking up my cat, I was then lectured on how I need to keep collars on my cats and keep them inside. I don't know about anyone else who has tried this with outside cats, but trying to keep a collar on them is close to impossible. So, trying to better the situation, I put collars on all 3 of cats and even had my newly acquired kitten neutered. I also tried keeping them inside for longer periods of time only to realize that was also close to impossible. This last time my male cat came up missing I knew exactly where to look. When the woman had me identity my cat, I was not so happily greeted by a crying, terrified cat covered in his own feces. Now, I am not exactly an expert on diseases and such but when an animal is rolling around in it's own filth, I can't see how that is preventing sickness and disease. One of her reasons for trapping these animals is to prevent this from happening correct? They then also tried to make me pay to get my cat back. I'm sorry but when did we start having to pay to get stolen possessions returned? Which is exactly what it is, theft, in general meaning the wrongful taking of someone else's property without that person's willful consent. Another one of her reasons is the animals continue to “use her carport as a bathroom.” I have a solution for that. Stop trapping these animals in your yard. It's only obvious that the food being used is attracting “strays” as well as peoples beloved pets that they don't want to be away from. It is quite easy to tell which cats are strays and which aren't just by their mannerism. I don't know why there are such difficulties with that. If anyone has recently lost their pet, it is a good idea to check the shelter, because you just might have a neighbor like mine.

I'd like a taint hoagie...hold the mayo...

So the subject line is totally random but funny none the less. Although the past two weeks has been rather crappy for me health wise. Not only did I get insanely sick on my vacation but I was then plagued with a killer cold right after it. I guess the odds are just against me.

On a happier note, I had a great time in AZ with the fam, had some quality baby time(after the violent vomitting), hung out with my sister and brother in law and the neighbors. It was a very low key but amazing break from the hell I sometimes call work. Much needed.
A few things happened while I was away as well. Barack Obama was elected for president and I was told that I am pregnant "again" according to Melitas, a reliable source I am told.(This is a total fabrication, please write it down so you don't forget!)

Well. Christmas is coming up and I am already writing the list. This list I am refering to, however, is not a list of things that I want but rather what I should get everyone else. So far I have come up with a fair idea of what to get everyone, the next step is digging up the money that is needed to buy these said gifts. Um Dave?!? Where are you going?!?!?

Anywho, this weekend should be fun. I am hosting a SPLURGE party at Maurices which means they close the whole store for all who got invited and I get 30% off everything I buy! SWEEEEEET!!! A few hours of nothing but uninterupted shopping? Is that possible?

Well, there's my post for the day!! Woohoo! I did it! Now I'm going to finish eating my sandwich. And no, it is not on a hoagie roll.